Chronicles of The Wanna Be Track Star (PART 2)

I went to San Jose for July 4th weekend to visit family. Long story short, I got involved in verbal fisticuffs with my father and kid brother about who is the fastest sprinter! My father leads us all to this track at a local high school. The entire family is out there. I pull up to the school and lil bro and pops are already on the track warming up. I get out and look for the entrance and have no luck. I ask and am told "you gotta hop the fence! We are trespassing!! Hop over!"

Wait, WHAT???

So I hop the fence, which is a good ten feet high. I start doing my warm up around the track. After one lap they start huffing and puffing for me to hurry up. "We need to get this over with so we can get out of here before the cops come!!!"

Wait, WHAT????

So now I'm afraid because I know what happens when you get on the track without warming up. So I get on the line between my pops and my brother. My uncle is at the finish line holding his arms up.

READY, SET, GO!!!

I'm out son!! I got out so fast, I looked back to see my competitors behind me. My brother is about 6'4". His long legs are turning over and he is keeping up, but they are moving pretty slow! My dad was just simply off to a poor start! Ha!!! I'm out! Look at me! Hahaaaa!!! Now its time to really take off and turn it on. Let's show these suckas what I've been learning out there on the track with my coach.

I make moves to go into the next gear and POP!!!!! My hamstring!!! Ahhhh!!!!! It was like my tire blew out! I veered to the right and fell completely off of the track! My pops makes it about 25 more meters and looks like he is running out of gas and then he pulls up!!! He is limping now down the track.

My brother jogs through the finish line laughing with his hands up. He is the only one to finish the race. How crazy is that? Well that is not the crazy part. The crazy part is picturing the two injured dudes trying to hop back over the 10 foot fence!!!

Well it was sheer comedy to say the least (and keep this blog entry short). We have already set the date for a rematch in December. I will be ready then. I'm rehabbing my hamstring right now. I asked my coach if he thought I was delusional. Should I hang up my spikes? Am I tripping? Should I find a new hobby? He keeps it real, so I was relieved to hear him say, "Doc you are a sprinter. You can do it. You have a tremendous amount of fast twitch muscle!!! You just were not race ready and you didn't get a good warm up!"

So its back to the drawing board.

Chronicles Of The Wanna Be Track Star

Okay so most of you know that I work with athletes on all levels, every day. Athletes talk trash. Its what they do, especially sprinters. I had one of my big mouths in the office. Her name is Shana Woods (USC Heptathlete). Yes I just called her out!

So we're chit chatting as I'm working on her. I ask a question out of curiosity. "How fast do you think I can run the 100m dash?" Shana looks up and laughs. She says, "Maybe 12.5 (seconds)." WHAT????!!!! 12.5? Okay so maybe those numbers mean nothing to you if you're not a track fan. That time is decent for a 12-13 year old girl! She was convinced that I am NOT an athlete and just an old fart.

I'm pretty convinced that she was not serious so I laughed it off. Well later on, I had another one of my favorite trash talkers in the office. Carmelita Jeter is the chief trash talker. If you're not a track aficionado, Ms. Jeter is the fastest woman alive.

I asked her the exact same question. I also told her what Shana predicted. Do you know what she said to me? "I think Shana was being nice!" Wow Jet, thanks a lot! I guess I am a non athletic old fart. "I think I can run 11 flat!" She laughs so hard she nearly falls off the table! She let's out a big "Heeeeeeellll naaaaaaaaaw!!!!" Now I'm a little insulted. Now its a challenge! I'm going to run 11 flat and that's that! Okay maybe 11.5? Yeah I'm gunning for 11.5!! I'm on a mission to prove these women wrong.

I called Coach Don Norford (the head coach from Long Beach Poly track & field). I asked him to train me as a sprinter. He said yes! So now its on!!! I will keep you posted...

It's been awhile. I know this. I know this. But I'm back and ready to go. So much going on. I got a ton of random thoughts right now. Funny how the blog is titled "random thoughts"!

LeBron James
- You are definitely doing it big. This has never been done before. I'm actually speechless at the circus this has all become. I am a big fan but I'm thinking that you just made yourself OVERRATED.

Public Restrooms
Walking into a public restroom "mid-YAWN".....its just baaaad news son. Don't do it.


Oprah? YES Oprah!
Okay so believe it or not, I sent in an audition tape to the people at the new Oprah Winfrey Network. Yeah man she got her own network. They are having a reality show with people competing to have their own show on O.W.N. So after a bazillion text messages, emails, and facebook posts, I went ahead and got it done son. They gave us 3 minutes max to tell them what type of show we want to do. About 15,000 people auditioned and they are picking like 35 or so people to use as a pool to choose who will be on the show. I got my fingers crossed but I'm NOT holding my breath...no sir!! Take a look at my audition if you're interested.
 Click Here for Doc's Oprah Audition

OK I got another story about my son, "Q"...Rashida tells him to go pee pee before we leave the house. He walks str8 to thee restroom and begins to handle his biz. We know this because we can hear the stream in the next room...NORMAL....but then we hear a loud and manly "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH".....what? Ahhh? REALLY Mr 3 year old?

I can go all day with stories about the little man of the house. He is convinced that he is charming and hilarious. What is crazy is that he is pretty in sync with principles of why we do what we do. He doesn't seem to be caught up in rules but the principles behind why they are in place. I actually like this! The only problem is that you have to allow him to question the rules, and maybe even your authority. As long as he does this respectfully, I'm cool. He is three!!! Did I tell you that he is only three!!??

So we are standing at the corner waiting to cross. Of course we trained him to look for the signal. I trust him to stand alone on the corner without having to hold his hand. Well all of a sudden he jumps off of the curb into the street and begins to dance around. I scream on him to get back on the sidewalk. I ask him what he was thinking to walk into the street when the light was still red. He looks at me and calmly begins his speech. He says, "It's okay Goddy! I look and there is no car coming down the street. It's okay!"

I was stunned. He was basically telling me to chill out! He even used hand gestures as if her were trying to calm be down. Wow. This guy!


Okay I think I will use this post as a tester. I'm having some issues with my post editor, so I have to post via email. I hope this works.

"I'd rather see you fail than to watch you just give up." 
-Doc Dossman